If I was an ornament I’d be dusty

“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” [Unknown]

What a week!  It feels like I have been here for ages. Mind, body, spirit – I am connecting again and it feels wonderful.  I realise now, that the busyness I created in my life, was my way of running away from me, my ‘spiritual’ side – my inside-out.   I’m ashamed to say, my spirit had been largely ignored. So much so, if  I was an ornament I’d be dusty.

So it’s been a week of exploration, literally and physically.  Meeting new friends and training, training, training! Oh my goodness, the aches and pains. When I first get out of bed in the morning, I lurch around the room like a malfunctioning robot until I warm up. But by far, the biggest thing for me, is that I have shed a fair bit of emotional baggage, and yesterday, was a biggie. I’ve been carrying my wounds with me for a long time. They weren’t visible on any part of my skin but they were there.

Ubud-montage
From left: Me with classmates Bec, Alice and Georgie

 

We did a group road trip to a temple in the hills, known as the water temple. We dressed in sarongs and we had to immerse ourselves into three different pools to be cleansed. In preparation, we had written what it was we wanted to be cleansed of.  It could be one word or a few words, and then we had to place our heads under the fountain in each pool repeating Aum’s and voicing our thoughts.  It was incredibly emotional for me. I can’t describe the overwhelming intensity of the place and I could not stop crying/sobbing uncontrollably! At the last pool, I cried like a wounded child. It felt like the feelings  you have after giving birth and yet something had died also. At the same time I felt a liberating sense of relief … my layers of stuff peeling away.

Today is a day off, of sorts … we have an assignment to complete.  The teaching is fantastic, our teachers are incredibly supportive, encouraging and deliver the content well. Love my class mates. So many different cultures – wonderful inspiring people.
In the featured photo at the top are my friends and I hanging out on our breaks. From left: Angel (Taiwan), me, Maree (Australia) and Diandra (USA).  This exercise is a great heart opener. It works into your thoracic spine, between the shoulder blades

breakfastOne common breakfast treat had here … nuts, fruit, quinoa porridge dragon fruit, banana. it’s is an incredibly organic, vegan, omnivore following, but other options are available.  Soaked nuts options, chia and quinoa porridge, black bean pudding is one of my favs now, with a vanilla yogurt topping or compote, yum, yum!

They say Ubud is like a vortex.  It sucks you in or it spits you out. You leave here with life changing experiences. You will keep coming back or you stay here permanently. I’m not sure how all this will end for me, but one thing I do know for sure, for so long I’ve been hiding behind the tags, mother, nana, wife, sister, aunty and teacher. But right at this very moment I want to say ‘Bye’ from ‘little ol’ ME!’

Author: estelleyogini

On a journey of self and worldly discovery. Exploring, delving into the abyss of life. I see stepping stones, although they only appear as I step onto them, floating above the earth, suspended by faith and trust. Allowing the journey to unfold as it needs to, let's go!

2 thoughts on “If I was an ornament I’d be dusty”

  1. Well. I have finally sat quietly digesting your journey so far … and I have shed tears too. For quite different reasons I have no doubt. But I am in awe of you – truly I am. And a wee bit envious too. I think of you lots. With love …

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    1. Robyn, you have been on my mind a lot also … I am sending you the biggest hug that wraps around you & cradles you until you have had enough, take a deep breath in & sigh it out, let go !! Of the pain & discomfort, little by little … I wish from the bottom of my feet & out through the crown of my head that my unconditional love fills your heart space today 💗 I believe you would so enjoy this training. You don’t have to be a yogi to train, a few are here just to grow & connect, consider it 🤔😌💞🙏🏻🌜🌟🌛 Oceans of love from me xxx

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